Pitong taon

Pitong taon bago ang ngayon

Naghintay ako at di naglaon

Nagkakilala kung saan nag-umpisa

Ang pagmamahalang walang nag-akala

Pitong taon mula kitang makilala

Nag-iba ang mundo at napuno ng alaala

Mga bagong karanasan at kaligayahan

Ang pumuno sa puso at isipan

Pitong taon hanggang kasalukuyan

Tayo ay kinasal at nagkatuluyan

Lumipas ang panahon pero hindi ang pagsuyo

Na kailanman ay hindi maglalaho

Pitong taon patungo sa hinaharap

Tayo ay mananatili sa may alapaap

Ngayon ay magkakaroon na ng supling

Na sa ating pagtanda ay gagabay at babaling

born identity

How the universe or the Great Being, to whomever we believe in, drafted our lives will remain a mystery even after death, reincarnation or after life. No one had a say as to what kind of life we will be brought into the earth. The gift of choice and decision came after we inhaled the first breath of air of which moment we have no full comprehension. It appears that we are characters in a storybook called life where we were each a given character and we are expected to play that role till the end. Only, however the story unfolds is entirely up to us. The parameters and plot of our journey through existence is never pre-determined nor final. The greatest power given to us grants us the full capability to make changes and rise above what was set.

It remains vivid in my brain how I played my character moving within the plot set for me. I recall every decision I made, every little choice I opted to take, every bit of challenge I both failed and succeeded. I am unsure to this point if I had given my character justice the way I lived it but I sure did the best I can, at least the best I think it could be done. Even if I go back as far as my memory can reach I don’t think I will do it any other way.

Now a new season premieres in this storybook as my most special day passed me by insignificantly. Perhaps I have gotten used to it being non-extravagantly exceptional. Since I left home, I have not had a remarkable one that when I ponder on it makes me feel ordinary. Instances such as these makes it difficult not to cling to the past because they were awesome times and harder even to embrace the present because it’s just not what I hoped it will be. In search for deeper meanings, I turn to the unseen, the Creator, to faith. And the message of all circumstances ends up to be – we need to be appreciative and thankful for what we have and think about those who have less and yet contented. 

 And so I am.

I hold the lever

I woke up quite confused in the middle of the night. I was huffing, brows crossed as my eyes adjust to the darkness of the room. I had a dream or a memory, I was unsure. Some thoughts do linger. They linger longer than they should that it starts to bother you. It creeps into your head and walks around it you end up dreaming of it. Then your paranoia-inspired brain suggests that the dream means more than what it really is. You try your hardest to explain your thoughts that became a dream which evolved into a subconscious desire for it to be real. You eventually confuse yourself if it started with a thought or was it a feeling that finally embodied itself.

Some dreams stay vivid even after you wake up, take a shower and have a cup of coffee. So vivid that you’re able to go back to it, dissect each scene as if you’re writing a blog review for a movie you’ve just seen. It is so clear in your mind that you can see through skin pores and remember the feeling of being on it as words are exchanged from you and the characters is your little story book.

Some dreams however long they seem to be just disappears in your memory as soon as you open your eyes. And you are just left with memories of how it felt – happiness, pain, excitement, wanting and fear. And no matter how much you try to recall, the devil has stolen it forever. But you are certain if it was a bad or great dream.

I used to have some awful nightmares when I was a kid and my cousin taught me how to divert them as simple as changing a channel on your television. She told me I have the power to control things in m sleep because it is my brain after all. It was difficult in the beginning the same as all the other things we’ve done for the first time. Then I was able to do it after some practice and willful intent. But what puzzles me is that, I can’t force myself to dream about something and dream of it the way I want it to. It baffles me that once a dream starts, I am able to hit the pause button and decide if I want it to continue or hit the stop button and move to the next channel but I can’t fully control how my mind works while unconscious.

Dreams, thoughts and ideas are mind events that we are able to control to some degree. And as much as we would argue about it, life is nothing different that our dream world. Some events and decisions are up to us but some we just have to go through. We are in control of our life – to some degree and we should exploit that capability to the most we can.